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Ben-san writes poem

Last week at Oakdale Elementary was Teacher Appreciation Week and the PTO hosted a Poetry Contest.  I got to watch my son tackle a challenge with such relentless determination that it made me wonder: Why Not The Same For Using A Fork?

Anyway, the kids were invited to write a poem about teachers and staff at Oakdale and there would be winners in 3 categories:  K-2, 3-4 and grade 5.  Each student was promised a candy bar just for entering and still Lucy dismissed the invitation, which made me realize there would be no poem from Lucy.  Not ever.  But Ben spent 5 days with a pencil and paper in his hand, wrestling with his opus, and Karl and I had a BLAST.

Ben decided he want to write a haiku about his first and second grade teacher, Mrs. Haan.  They studied haiku during a unit on Japan last year, so this is not as geeky as it sounds.  I looked up the rules of haiku on the internet, the most basic of which are three lines and syllables in a 5-7-5 pattern.  I asked Ben what his first line would be and he immediatly said “Graceful as a dove.”  Excuse me while I have a moment.

Mrs. Haan really is graceful as a dove.  She projects such an essence of grace and calm and peace — it’s very good second-grade-teacher stuff.  So, that was Ben’s first line.

The second line was more of a challenge.  Karl and I were both English majors and Ben indulged us a quite a bit as we explained active vs. passive verbs and talked about making every word count.  We shot questions back and forth about what Mrs. Haan is like in class [“does she have a great sense of humor?” Ben, very seriously:  “No.”], what are his favorite things about her class, and what about her manner in class makes her so wonderful.  After much editing [oh, Mommy loved it], Ben found his next 7 syllables.

Then we spent an evening and afternoon pushing around that last line.  My experience as a writer is that the best stuff just pops out.  I know that’s probably sacrilegious and lots of writerly gurus will roll their baggy eyes at me, but honestly, sometimes I feel like the words come when the words are ready and I can feel when they’re just right.  Not all words, just some. They weren’t coming for Ben and I knew I had to help him birth them without writing them myself [“A true gift from God”?  “My other mother”?].  I asked Ben what he would say to Mrs. Haan if it was the last day of school.  Ben has been in Mrs. Haan’s class for almost two years now.  Next year, he makes the big move to a 3/4 classroom and, not insignificantly, the year after that Oakdale will be closed.  More on that later.

What would you say to Mrs. Haan on the last day of school?  Ben answered me without a pause.  He answered me with five syllables.  The best stuff just popped out.  And on Friday, as I was preparing to serve hot lunch, the principal announced the winners over the intercom and Ben won.  I clapped a bit and smiled at my fellow server, but inside I was fist-pumping and jumping and screaming and behaving quite indecorously.  A pile of gold couldn’t have made me happier.

Here is Ben’s Haiku for Mrs. Haan:

Graceful as a dove
Caring for me and my class
I wish I could stay

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Oh, he also won ten dollars.  It’s been a great week.

11 Comments

  1. Dad/Grandpa wrote:

    I’m going to guess that, even though there will be no poem from Lucy just now, she is VERY proud of her older (and much more sophisticated) brother for winning the prize.

    Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at 2:23 pm | Permalink
  2. Christina de Jong wrote:

    love love love your post and Ben’s poem.

    xChristina

    Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at 6:21 pm | Permalink
  3. nicole wrote:

    I can’t. I just CAN’T. I can’t STAND the loveliness of it all. Of him. Of his heart. Of that sweet, charming little ball of honesty. I love him so.

    Um…OAKDALE IS CLOSING?! WHAT?! Please explain. I thought you were all fighting so hard, and who would dare defy Sara De Boer? Boo. What will you do?
    Love you all.

    Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at 7:09 pm | Permalink
  4. Debbi wrote:

    I am so impressed! I remember STRUGGLING in 3rd grade to write a haiku for homework! I was in tears… it was just too hard! I applaud you on your gentle guidance. It is so tempting to want to jump in their and feed them ideas, and take over. I hate when I get homework/projects from kids that is so obviously parent driven. You did a beautiful job helping him to discover his inner voice! Bravo to you both!

    Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at 7:23 pm | Permalink
  5. Full of passion and energy
    A great advocate for her kids
    That’s my niece Sara DeBoer!

    Wednesday, April 29, 2009 at 5:32 am | Permalink
  6. Natalie wrote:

    That sounds like so much fun! Judging the contest was always fun, too — which I did for the last three years. I can see why Ben won. This post really made me miss Oakdale. Also, I believe any writerly guru will tell you that, indeed, the best stuff just pops out. Some good stuff is wrestled out, true, but the satisfaction of that line that comes out of whatever is stewing in your brain and when you brain doesn’t get in the way can’t be beat.

    Wednesday, April 29, 2009 at 6:35 am | Permalink
  7. Natalie wrote:

    Also, to be noted, Ben wins *again*. Didn’t you have a post about his winning ways earlier?

    Wednesday, April 29, 2009 at 6:36 am | Permalink
  8. Mom/Grandma wrote:

    Has Mrs. Haan come back to earth yet? What a gift!! She’ll treasure Ben’s gift forever.
    (And I treasure your descriptions of life with Ben and Lucia – – positively heart-bursting.)

    Well-done, Ben! You’re a winner with me, too.

    Wednesday, April 29, 2009 at 2:01 pm | Permalink
  9. peter wrote:

    this article is the highlight of my week. Go Ben! Go Sara!

    Wednesday, April 29, 2009 at 4:51 pm | Permalink
  10. michelle wrote:

    oh, Ben! You are a talented, dear and delightful boy! ((hugs))

    Saturday, May 2, 2009 at 5:34 am | Permalink
  11. laura wrote:

    Love this post and the photo of Ben. It’s the greatest feeling when your kid gets acknowledged, right, or let’s be honest WINS!!

    Wednesday, May 6, 2009 at 9:10 am | Permalink

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