Presented as a book, this slim, 110-page volume is really an extended essay written by the wonderful, enchanting Ruth Reichl about her mother, Miriam, their fraught relationship, and Ruth’s conclusion that her mother, in raising her with what looked to me like a crushingly harsh and demanding attitude, was trying to help Ruth avoid the life of disappointment and despair in which she found herself living. I have to wonder if Miriam wasn’t mentally ill. Ruth mentions manic depression. Maybe borderline personality disorder? Whatever. Really. Who cares? Ruth does just right (perhaps for her mother but really, for herself), in the wake of her mother’s death, to interpret her mother’s life with love and compassion and generosity. A brilliant woman who wanted to be a doctor, Miriam became a mother and housewife like so many women of her age. It wasn’t a choice. It was a cultural demand. And as Ruth described it, I felt myself blowing up inside. I could feel Miriam’s panic and outrage. Fortunately, Ruth finds a box of writing scraps from Miriam and gave me this at the end: Miriam’s last thought (really!), at age 80 just before her death, after she had been widowed for a number of years and found a life of freedom, both mental and daily. Here it is:Â “I am not going to lower my sights. I am going to live up the best in myself. Even if it means some painful changes. I am no longer afraid.” Holy crap. Well done, Miriam.
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